Melt Down

Omggg why did I choose this course???!!!

The stress is so overwhelming.

PLEASE LET IT BE GOOD.

:(

Been going through a biphasic emotional rollercoaster. Sigh.

Dent is really taking a toll on me. Thursday's paper was just..... wtf? Can't believe I studied so hard for it and because of the random questions that I got screwed over :((( Well it's undeniable that it's my own fault bc I didnt do my run through ritual with the CDH lectures. But also because I ran out of time with discussions and what not. Definitely changing the way I study next year. It's really depressing when all the effort you put in for a paper doesn't even minutely reflect the knowledge we know for that particular subject.

And people who always complain on how freaking hard their subject is should just stfu. You think 12 weeks of lectures is bad for 1 exam. We have 3 subjects (36 lectures at least) crammed into 1 paper. And we are still expected to know everything. I'm so tired of reading people tweeting about their stupid exam and how difficult it to finish 12 lectures. Bitch please. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO COMPLAIN.

Zzzz. I'm just in a really crappy mood right now.

Last exam - Oral exam/viva, which is like a case presentation to 2 dentists and we have to diagnose and treatment plan for the patient. They can ask you anyyyyyyyyything from 2nd year to 3rd year. So death is with me.

STRESS.

Housemate Drama.

When I was studying in Frank Tate yesterday with the FT family, Kev wasn't there. It wasn't that surprising, considering what a sloth he is. lol.

After dinner, Chris pulled me aside and was telling me about this situation he's facing with Kev. So it all starts off like this:

We had an Oral Med exam last Thursday and it was stressballs. OMG. One of the most stressful exams I've encountered. Luckily we were given 4 questions to prepare for and all of us are just counting on the questions to appear in the exams. So between Tuesday and Wednesday, Kev (not surprising at all) asked for 2 for Chris' essays through Facebook chat and having stated the classic, "If you don't want to, you can say no". Obviously this puts Chris into a dilemma. If he gives, it's against his principle and if he doesn't, he's considered a bad friend. So he did.

But he was furious and sent Kev an email stating so and that he should be more giving than taking all the time. Which I had to agree with, because K is a leech, literally. He would extend his body across the study table like some freaking phagocyte (excuse the nerd in me) and his ears will grow into Dumbo sized ones to listen to other people's output on a particular discussion topic and he'll never give any info in return.

Well long story short, K made C apologize for not being graceful about sending his answers to him (wtf?) and that he should be more tolerant and more competitive (double wtf?) lol. So yeah. C is hurt of course and now it's really tensed back home bc well they live under the same roof.

Mmm. I need to listen to K's side before making any judgements but for now, it's not looking swell. Not gonna take sides or wtv but some people just need to get a good knock on his skull to remind him what is right and wrong and how he overstepped the boundaries this time. BIG TIME.

Chyeahhh. My thoughts exactly.

By My Side

I'm just listening to the clock go ticking, 
I am waiting as the time goes by.
I think of you with every breath I take, 
I need to feel your heartbeat next to mine.
You're all I see, in everything.

I just wanna hold you, 
I just wanna kiss you, 
I just wanna love you all my life.
I normally wouldn't say this, 
but I just can't contain it.
I want you here forever, 
right here by my side.


David Choi's By My Side


Mmm. The downsides of being in an LDR - When you feel lonely, you can't just give your partner a call and wait for them to turn up at your doorstep, nor could you turn up at theirs. Simply because they are a gazillion miles away.

:(

Shin is in Singapore for the weekend for his sister's wedding, which is actually really exciting :) I love weddings! Yeah random I know. If I've never mentioned this in my blog before, well there you go. I absolutely love weddings. I love how I can still believe that true love do exist and all these years of growing up has yet to rob me of these magical moments that I truly believe in :)

If I had a choice, without having to think of an amazing future career as a dentist, I will definitely be a wedding planner. Lol. Yeah judging from how disorganized I am (I'm sure you can tell from the last minute panic mode in studying lol), I think it would be one of my true passions. Sure, Dentistry is a glorified career albeit the nauseous thought that run through your heads about how disgusting a person's mouth is, it is a financially rewarding career. But I didn't choose this career path because I loved it or that I'm crazily in love with teeth. Trust me, I know some of my coursemates who wouldn't shut up about teeth. It was just the right timing with the great opportunity that I decided to jump onto the bandwagon. So yeah. Clinic sessions are fun and I adorrrrre my patients but there will be times when I doubt whether I'm doing the right thing. We only live once, and I want to do what I absolutely love, not just what I can do well in.

Anyway, I've been missing the bf and it doesn't help that I can't speak to him :( I'm sure he's prolly dead from drinking lol.

Why is it so hard to be in a long distance relationship?

Le sigh.

Oh godddddd

How am I going to get through this?!

I've an exam which comprises of Oral Medicine and Pathology, Oral Radiology and Surgery on Thursday 9am. And I've barely covered surgery.

Now the big debate is whether I should sleep tonight or just tank it and sleep tomorrow. My body clock is totally screwed and 9am exam is seriously testing my ability to retain knowledge and regurgitate.

I think I used to be better in this whole last minute thing. But I'm getting worse at retaining whatever I'd learn. MAYBE AGE IS CATCHING UP OH GOD.

Ok. I know I sound crazy but what's new.

ARGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Expect more random posts bc ME AINT GONNA SLEEP TONIGHT.

So like,I just wrote a lengthy post on why im pretty upset today, and blogger decided to not save my post and crash in safari. Fml. :(

High Expectations.

Recently, I've been enlightened that I've some self inflicted issues. I guess it had been plaguing my mind for awhile and it's driving me crazy, literally. Haven't really been able to sleep well and it's weird. I never had this problem before :(



So yeah. What is the issue about? I think I've too much of an expectation for my bf. My used to be ex ex whom now I'm seeing again. It's all v v v v complicated. We've been fighting recently and I'm really tired. Maybe it's not him but me. Cliche as it sounds, it's true. I'm so used to him being there for me and listening to all my complains and what nots that I hvnt noticed that he has changed. Or maybe I'd - becoming a crazy bitch. We had been together for 4 years before and everything was great till the distance tore us apart. And it just doesn't feel like it's the same anymore. He has his own opinions about things which he voices them out, strongly I may say and he doesn't seem to he as patient as he was before.



I don't know what's happening. It's just.. I don't wanna be in an unhappy position anymore. Maybe I'm too comfortable with him and I expect him to know what I want and how I feel. Am I asking for too much? I don't know.



I just want things to be the same again.



Am I kidding myself? I don't know.

A Come Back.

Hiiiiii all! :))

It has been awhile since I've updated my blog lol. Well, nearly a year has passed omg time really flies. Let's see, what has been happening? Just a short update to whomever is still reading this:

1. I got an iPhone 4 early this year! :))) Just a 2 year renewal with 3/Vodafone and god, it's so damn handy. Updating Facebook (more like stalking :p), Twitter, Tumblr etc is so more easier! :)))
2. I'm addicted to Smurf's Village and Tiny Tower. This is kinda sad really, the life of a dent kid. We seek solace and peace in iPhone games that require farming and sending "bitizens" up to their intended floors. But in to my justification, I only grow plants according to my waking up time DDD: , unlike some obsessed crazy fools who plants their vegetables and wake up in the wee hours to harvest them. wtf? lol. And the "bitizens" in Tiny Tower have the most adorable costumes ever!!!! Yes. I do have a life.                                                                                                                                                    
3. I've started seeing patients this year in the Dental Hospital!!! *yayyyyyy throws confetti!* and to answer your question (as to everyone else's), no, I haven't killed anyone with a scaler or hand instrument, yet. (CHOI TOUCH WOOD). But yeah :)) clinic sessions have been nothing short of wonderful. My patients have been great so far and they are really adorable :) I'm currently making a denture for my patient and bc it's acrylic (plastic thingy), instead of a metal framed one, I've to set up the whole thing by myself, which was really daunting and I practically LIVED in the lab to get it done. But I'm already in my final stages and hopefully everything turns out right :) Fingers crossed.
4. My parents are coming to Melbourne to visit me this Friday! :)) I'm kinda excited, simultaneously feeling pretty stressed up with all the planning and what not. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU HAVE TO DO WHEN YOUR PARENTS COME?!!??!! omg. I need to clean the entire house. And of course my housemate's not gonna give me a hand, so yeah. HOMG.
5. I've been exploring a lot of new food places :) Good food mind you. And yeah it has been pretty rewarding on the taste buds :) I'm constantly looking for new coffee places, soup and dessert places etc. No thanks to the influence of Popo and the rest of our Gourmand crew. Yes, we do call ourselves that to appear snobbish and arrogant :p LOLLL
   
   
   
6. And yeah, I'm currently in an LDR and it's pretty painful to deal with the time and distance. I'm trying to be enough for myself :) , a phrase I've picked up today from reading thought catalog. It's a really good website if anyone is up for some light reading :) Absolutely love the writing style with their punch lines and quirk.

So yeah, that's a mini update from me :))

It's really random bc I just feel like blogging today. Maybe I'll blog more religiously soon :)) Drop me a comment if anyone is reading this. Lol! Hope everyone's well! <3