Thursday, July 22, 2010

awww :)

"In your life, no matter how short, you will meet someone who challenges you, who really makes you think. You will meet someone who can make you laugh relentlessly, where your face hurts from smiling so hard. You will meet someone who makes you so angry, so upset and so fucking vulnerable all at once. You will meet someone who be your support no matter what, even if they believe you are wrong. You will meet someone who takes care of you in your worst moments and you will learn to take care of them in their worst as well. You will meet someone you will go through hell and back for. You will meet someone who you love with every ounce of your being. You will meet someone who makes you feel more alive and more happy than you ever have before. You will meet someone who will open doors for you, who will do anything to help you succeed. You will meet someone who would weather the worst of storms for you. You will meet someone who will say one thing to you and your eyes will pour tears and your heart will melt in their hands. You will meet someone who is your best friend, until nothing but death tears you apart. One day, you will meet someone who is all of those and son, you better marry her because she will be everything you will ever need in a human being and every single day you wake up you will be so damn thankful to feel her fingers in your hair and her smile on the back of your neck and don’t you dare bargain for any less of someone who is everything I told you because we settle for too many mediocre things in life and love shouldn’t be one of them."
— Papa, Wasted (Excerpt from my story) (via where-the-heart-is)


apparently it is the season of breaking up recently amongst my circle of primary mates. (yes i still keep in touch with them :) ) it's very intriguing that how all of us lead different lives and we all have our own little pieces of dramas. and although we haven't seen each other for nearly half a year since we last gathered, words of comfort are appreciated so so much when we exchange our woes and experiences, speaking of the past, present and future.

my best friend during our primary years had an extremely bad break up with her boyfriend. they had been going out for 2 years and the break up came as a shock to her. she had always known that he was one with a weird character and also mysteriously temperamental. his reason for breaking up was that he came across a quote, written between the lines of, "what is love? when it can barely last forever" or something seemingly meaningful, but in reality, it's just a bunch of crap. that was it. that WAS the best he can come up with and he left her torn apart, trying to pick up the pieces, all by herself.

"i'm so lost. i don't know what i'm doing everyday. i couldn't focus when i'm working. i can't eat nor sleep properly without nightmares interjecting into my mind. i'm literally a walking corpse and am nothing but a human shell", she said.

to which i tried to give my advice, but apart from saying, "time heals everything," and "he doesn't deserve you anyway that selfish bastard", i couldn't suggest anything else. i realised that i actually couldn't relate to her regarding the break up. i'm very fortunate that in my past relationships, i've been treated extremely well and to be crude, it was pretty evident that my ex(es) loved me, more than i did to them.i was the one who was always irrational and temperamental. for her, she was the one falling head over heels for him and that when he left in a sudden, she couldn't forgive him, moreover herself because she felt that she violated the "the guy must love me more than i do to him in a relationship" rule.

she felt stupid, extremely furious with him and herself, broken and lost. karma was what she thought when he left because she remembered that she didn't treat her past bfs well at all. they were the ones who heeded to all her needs and dayummm she was even more irrational than i was. heh.

and then she got me thinking.

well, what happens if i was her? would that ever happen to me?


honestly, i hope not. (who does anyway!!?) then i thought to myself. if i try to hold back in falling for someone and hoping that he loves me more than i do to him, maybe i wouldn't hurt myself that much, even if it didn't work out. i was initially introuduced to the "rule" by my mum and it is repeatedly reinforced by my girlfriends. all of whom suffered from break ups, good or bad ones.

but seriously, who the fuck invented this outrageous "rule"?!?! think about it, if i hold back my feelings and he thinks that i don't love him enough and likewise held back his, then there is NO meaning to the whole relationship. because we ARE living in denial and selfishness to try to protect ourselves from being hurt by others and therefore, never truly loved each other.

horrible as it sounds, i do admit that i am slightly influenced by it. because i'm a girl and love being pampered :) but that doesn't mean i hold back when it comes to falling in love. i'd like to think that i'm an emotionally attached person and still, unabashedly loves to fantasize the perfect everything when it comes to a relationship. yeaappp that's me, forever the dreamer.

to me, i've learnt that being in a relationship is more of falling deeply in love with each other and having that overwhelming chemistry, then start learning about your partner's habits, character and thoughts, getting to understand him better and then, realising that you are actually falling deeper in love with him when you actually thought it was rendered impossible that it could happen, because you're already so so so into him before.

love is, a strange strange thing.

anyway, back to the story. all of us tried our best to talk to her and try to understand what she's going through. cracking jokes, gossiping about others and generally tried to tear her away from the pain that was piercing her. and the last piece of thought i gave was, "everything happens for a reason", lame i know. yeah Chris's favourite quote. but i thought it was apt at that particular moment when everyone ran out of things to say. to which she nodded and agreed that it is something positive that she could start off with. :) finally someone actually believed that nonsensical quote :p

at the end of the night, when i started writing up this post, (i wrote it last night but didn't manage to finish it) i received a text from my best friend. it was a mass text to everyone who were there. she thanked us for listening and that it felt heart warming that after all these years, we are still there for her and she appreciated it very, very much.


and this is why friendships are precious to me. those who matter anyway :)

Monday, July 12, 2010

I am

down with flu

giving up on watching the World Cup *lol*

thinking of getting my wisdoms out


tired of talking about you

sick of nosy people

missing you

in love

<3 Posted from Steffie's iPhone :)



i'm really hungry right now :( but i don't feel like snacking in the middle of the night D: D: need to lose fat cheeks!! RWAR!

boo met my family today :) lol and he wondered why my crazy uncle didn't speak much during the whole dinner haha. obviously mum prewarned him about his verbal diarrhea issue :p and therefore he was under a very controlled situation. lol!

i'm really glad everything went well and he wasn't feeling too awkward with his everyone-surrounding-me-is-speaking-canto phobia :))))

*i can hear soccer fans cheering from Steven's corner omg they are so crazy*

it's strange how some people mask their nosiness with the excuse of being caring. they actually feel superior over you about things or issues that you don't give a shit about. i'm just bemused by them.

random photos in no chronological order :)


zomg. velvet rouge from fukuharu is so yums!


lazing around lincoln park :)


cousin love :)


puff, joce and moi <3


love love :)


graffiti wall at MC


cheek love <3 <3

Saturday, July 10, 2010

busy busy busy like a bumble bee!

it's been half way through winter hols and i've been v v v v busy >.< meeting up with family and friends and trying to catch up with everyone are currently keeping me extremely occupied. not that i'm complaining though :)) it has been an amazing holiday so far, just chilling and feeling extremely relaxed :D :D

something that i've learnt today is that jealousy never ends. it will actually engulf a person and even after all those years, he/she will still hold a grudge against you, although you've never done anything mean or horrible to that particular person. well, obviously i wouldn't mind as much if you look down on me, but when it comes to my family, don't you DARE say a word about them. basically this is why you don't have any friends nor a partner to share your life with and that you're always alone. ain't it a no brainer? if you've given anything much thought about, i think it's time that you TRY or even ATTEMPT to look around you and comprehend why no one bloody likes you.

no one wants to be associated with you.

so fuck off.


anyway, moving on to happier things :)

i've been spending time with Chris in Pavilion (lol, this is literally his second home), watching movies, shopping and chilling in Starbucks. it's actually becoming a routine :) if you want to test your luck, try bumping into us at Pav, it's like a 90% success rate. lol.

hullo! meet Chris :)

i've put on so much weight it's not even funny :(
5 freaking kilos. 
cheek love! :)

Weens' 21st :)
Weens had her 21st at Alexis, Gardens and then we headed off to Gsix, which is a club/pub on the 6th floor. Dinner was really enjoyable because it was sort of like a gathering for all of us :)) the UK ppl are back! :D i hvn't seen most of them for like maybe a year? and seeing them again, just felt like they'd never left :) conversational topics were picked up from where we left off and it was fun! :) it's nice to know after these while of not seeing/talking to each other that everything is still the same :)

Art the wife and Kah May (aka Donkey), the one who wears the pants :p




Qing, KM, me, Weens! the birthday girl

Leng, KM,Art and Horny


the girls :)




not-so-innocent birthday girl who passed out. lol.


this happens all the time lol


little handphone <3




hi everyone meet arthur lol.


he is not drunk.
he's like that on a regular basis.




hannah, yizhen, sam and weens :)
the bubblies killed her :p


jon :) haven't seen him since high school :)

okie i'm really tired right now. should get some sleep 'cause i'm meeting bee and the girls tomorrow :) can't wait!

Thursday, July 1, 2010



i've just landed yesterday morning and i'm really happy to be back! :)) having to return to the city i'm most familiar with, being able to meet up with friends whom i've missed and hanging out with family and Chris are just one of the many excitements this holidays :)

i'd barely a few winks on the plane and ended up watching 3 movies on my flight back -_- How to Train A Dragon was such an adorable movie! :) very witty and light :) me like. and i thought Valentines Day was a pretty good chic flick too. i was so shocked when i found out mcdreamy (in the movie) was gay! :O :O what an absolute waste. lol. From Paris with Love was alright, just another typical action flick and i was getting tired during the movie so it wasn't great for me >.<"

catching up with the parents was so much fun! :))) it felt nice to be close, as in distance wised again because i do receive more pampering from them :p (stop laughing christopher) well, i do need my daily dose of manjaness :p

i was texting my mum before i came back from melbourne:

me: i'm so excited to be back mum! :)
mum: remember to pack and sleep early (wtf right! doesn't even bother to reply in context :((( )
me: aiyor! why aren't you excited that i'm coming back?!
mum: aiyoh. i'm already taking leave to come and meet you at the airport lah princess!

haha. me like.