Sunday, October 24, 2010


you told me to express my feelings in words.

i just saw you at ft just now.

my heart was racing, and do you know what i was thinking?

i was thinking. MAYBE he changed his mind. MAYBE he wants me back. MAYBE he would hug me and said "boo, can we forget everything from the past and move on?"

to which, i would, definitely, say yes.

a big fucking yes.

instead, you know what you said?

you said, "i'm gonna drop off your stuff at your place later"

and you started to leave.

i just couldn't hold back my tears. 

it's so so so painful.

so painful.

you killed me again.

again and again.

finally, i had to ask you. i had to ask you face to face. "have i lost you?"

you replied,"we can still be friends"

i gulped back my tears, couldn't believe what i hear, and while you turn left to college square, i turned right.

i cried.

cried my way back to uropa. cried in my room so loudly that jack had to come and see what happened.

i'm in such pain. 

i love you but i can't be with you.

i need you.

i told you before, i've never felt the same way for anyone before.

you are so special to me.

have you felt your heart being torn to pieces and trampled on, again and again?

i felt that literally. i actually felt it.

why are you doing this to me?

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